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Don’t Focus on Others Liking You


Personally, I never watch all the rolling credits after finishing a movie.

When I do, I check mainly the names of the actors who played the main characters.

You probably notice that after seeing the names of the main actors, you start seeing e.g. cab driver number 1 or gangster number 2.

You don’t see their names because they weren’t important to the story.

When we look at our own lives, we have to admit that we sometimes hold ourselves back because of people we don’t even know.

It is understandable you care what your nearest and dearest think of you, your actions, aspirations etc.

But why do we care what waiter number 2 will think of us when we take action?

Why staying in our comfort zone because of that fear of judgment, rejection, and being ridiculed by such people?

An explanation does exist, it was important for our survival to be accepted by our tribe. The fear of being excommunicated was real.

Other explanations are that we have suffered traumas regarding rejection, ridicule and adopting coping mechanisms to deal with detrimental happenings in our household for example.

We train ourselves to pursue being accepted, to avoid confrontation, to avoid rejection, to keep the peace.

This unfortunately means we teach ourselves not to fly as we want in life. We learn to contract, to not be ourselves, and to please others at the cost of our own growth, mindset, and happiness.

The whole notion of dealing with such unpleasant emotions is what makes us stay in our comfort zone. Not that we are conscious of this! No, of course the ego will come up with other stories why you should not take action!

Reasons like: it is too hard, it will take too long, you’re too old, you need lots of money for that etc.

We are good at imagining devastating scenarios which will probably never happen.

That is why it is vital to focus on liking ourselves first, to work on ourselves first.

When your focus is to be liked by others, you will sacrifice your authenticity for attachment.

Why would you want to spend time on social media to create posts so they can be liked by people who you might not even like?

Forget about cab driver number 1 and backing vocalist number 3.

Don’t allow them to have such power over you.

You will one day realize you spent too much time worrying about nothing.

Like and embrace yourself first, any other like on social media is just a bonus.